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One of my favorite movies is Brewster’s Millions (1985).
It’s about Monte Brewster (Richard Pryor), a minor-league baseball player, who’s rich relative leaves him a huge sum with a catch. Monte has to spend $30 Million in 30 days without accruing any assets. If he is successful he gets $300 Million, if not he gets zero.
Brewster’s Millions is an excellent learning tool about ways to waste money.
If you are interested in learning how to waste your money, here are my 5 foolproof ways to squander your cash.
1) Your Refridgerator Has Wifi
One of the best ways to waste money is to buy every cool gadget the second it comes out. Buying new technology is crazy expensive!
Do you waste money on new tech? You might have a new tech problem if…
- If your idea of camping is a tent outside the Apple store a week before launch day, you might have a new tech problem.
- If you constructed a landing pad for Amazon drone delivery, you might have a new tech problem.
- If you already have a reservation for the first commercial flight to Mars, you might have a new tech problem.
Everyone knows that if you wait the price of new technology decreases. So why wait when you can waste money on overpriced electronics now? What would it say about you if you weren’t the first to own the Apple Car, Apple Shirt, or Apple Toilet Seat?
2) You Pay for Air Guitar Strings
I once saw KISS branded air guitar strings for sale at a music store. Let that sink in for a minute… KISS brand air guitar strings! Seeing this brought two questions to my mind. Has anyone wasted money buying this? And did they have any Jimi Hendrix air guitar strings in the back?
If you pay for things that you can get for free, you are doing a fantastic job wasting money. Some examples are:
- Music-You can get a lot of music for free on Pandora, iHeart Radio, and YouTube.
- Books & Movies-There’s this cool place in your community where you can rent out books and movies for free! It’s called a library.
- Television-Did you know there is this thing called an Antenna that picks up local TV stations? And it’s free! (If you think tin foil on rabbit ears is animal cruelty you might not understand this.)
Paying when you could have received something for free is spending mindlessly 101!
3) Everyone Knows Your Name at Cheers
If you walk into the local restaurant or bar and everyone shouts your name… you probably have a problem, at least one maybe more. You are wasting money, and might have liver issues.
Eating and drinking out frequently are budget crushers. I should know, I spent years eating and drinking my money. It’s one of my worst money mistakes.
I’ve heard estimates that it is 8 times more expensive to eat out than to cook at home! Wow! You can spend 8 times faster by eating out every day!
So if you are into wasting money say hi to Norm and Cliff for me.
4) You Have a Butler
Unless you are Will Smith’s uncle, or Batman, you probably don’t have a butler. But do you waste money paying for services that you could perform yourself?
Laundry service, lawn care, and simple home repairs are areas where you can pay through the nose for tasks that you could handle yourself.
Don’t like doing laundry? Bring it to your mom’s house. Everyone knows that mom’s love doing laundry for their children no matter how many years they’ve been out of the house. Besides, what else does your mom have to do? You don’t want her to get bored. (FYI, mom, this was sarcasm. I promise I’ll do my own laundry.)
Bottom line, hiring others to do things you can do is a great way to waste money. (One caviat, if doing it yourself will cause bodily injury, lead to flooding, or set your house on fire, by all means hire someone please. Unless you want to waste a whole lot of money!)
5) You Treat Your Entourage
A movie star sized paycheck won’t help you if your friends and family are always mooching. Constantly buying meals, drinks, and plane tickets to Dubai is a quick way to waste money.
“Oh you forgot your wallet? I’ll pay this time.”
Great job, you’ve just wasted money.
“Since you’ve fallen on hard times, I’ll pay.”
Guess what? You can’t claim your 40 year old divorced brother as a dependant on your taxes, no matter how much he eats, but you have wasted a bunch of money.
“I’ll buy a round for the whole bar!”
Nice! Hopefully you’ve just won the lottery, because you definitely wasted money.
I’m not saying that you should be the cheap friend that always has a bladder issues when the check arrives. Just, if you want to waste money, keep treating friends, family, and strangers to things they should be buying themselves.
Bonus Ways to Waste Money
Now that you have read some of the best ways to waste money, here are some extra ideas to really mess up your wallet:
- Always buy name brands
- Don’t create a budget or spending plan
- Tip generously
- Overdraft your account
- Don’t pay your bills on time
- Never buy on sale
- Carry a balance on your credit cards
What are some of the best ways you have wasted money?